Stranded in Namibia

hole, lee, fuck. What just happened, spill what you’re thinking!

I can't believe I just did that. Over the past few days, I've been hearing about how I couldn't win in a jury situation and that I'm pretty much just a non factor. I don't think that I believe that, but it makes me insecure. On top of that, we had the threat of drawing rocks to make me feel even more unsure, and I panicked. I don't think it was the right thing to do, but I can't leave yet.

All I can think of right now is how screwed I am. I'm obviously in the fifth place position and I can't do anything about that.

Going into this vote, Julie proposed a final 3 deal with me and I think that motivated me to flip big time. My best chance is with her and Whitney, and with the way the votes were distributed, it would have been one of them or someone in my previous alliance. I thought I would come into this game and just be a cunning strategist who would do anything to get to the end, but I'm finding that that is completely false. Due to my moves, I'm at the bottom of an alliance with two other people who hate me and a bitter Kristina on the jury. I'm not going to win.

I guess the comforting thing about that is that I sort of free to just do whatever the hell I want. I could just keep lying to everyone and flipping on every vote and not worry because I'm not going to win anyway. I talked earlier in the season about not wanting to develop a #YOLO strategy, but at this point it doesn't matter. I'm just going to do whatever I want from here on out and not worry about the consequences.

David wrote:I can't believe I just did that. Over the past few days, I've been hearing about how I couldn't win in a jury situation and that I'm pretty much just a non factor. I don't think that I believe that, but it makes me insecure. On top of that, we had the threat of drawing rocks to make me feel even more unsure, and I panicked. I don't think it was the right thing to do, but I can't leave yet.

All I can think of right now is how screwed I am. I'm obviously in the fifth place position and I can't do anything about that.

Going into this vote, Julie proposed a final 3 deal with me and I think that motivated me to flip big time. My best chance is with her and Whitney, and with the way the votes were distributed, it would have been one of them or someone in my previous alliance. I thought I would come into this game and just be a cunning strategist who would do anything to get to the end, but I'm finding that that is completely false. Due to my moves, I'm at the bottom of an alliance with two other people who hate me and a bitter Kristina on the jury. I'm not going to win.

I guess the comforting thing about that is that I sort of free to just do whatever the hell I want. I could just keep lying to everyone and flipping on every vote and not worry because I'm not going to win anyway. I talked earlier in the season about not wanting to develop a #YOLO strategy, but at this point it doesn't matter. I'm just going to do whatever I want from here on out and not worry about the consequences.

If it's any consolation, I respect that the most :)

Wow, I feel really free right now. Like I'm just playing both sides, and I'm not nervous about it like I was last time. I wish I could tell you where my true loyalties lie, but I don't even know at this point. I have a plan, but I'm not sure if I can pull it off. It goes like this:

Basically, I try to get the votes split between Mike and Steph. That is the only way I could try to get them out. I don't want either of them at the end, but keeping them would just boost my position in the game I think. I think my dream final 3 is me, Julie, and Whitney. They are my best chance to win against. I know I've said that I'm resigned to losing at this point, but Julie and Whitney were both looked at as floaters for a long time, so I might still have a chance?

I'm certainly not going to let this new confidence in myself keep me from making big moves now. You know, it's funny how having more confidence in my game made me more insecure about my game, but having less confidence about my game gives me more courage to do whatever. I'm fucking weird.

This idol is what throws my "plan" off. If one of Julie, Whitney, Sophie, or Ashley finds it, my plan is toast and I lessen my chances of getting to the end. The best scenario is for myself to find it because then I know that no one else has it. We'll see what happens tonight, hopefully no one finds it within an hour since I won't be here until 8c.

David wrote:Wow, I feel really free right now. Like I'm just playing both sides, and I'm not nervous about it like I was last time. I wish I could tell you where my true loyalties lie, but I don't even know at this point. I have a plan, but I'm not sure if I can pull it off. It goes like this:

Basically, I try to get the votes split between Mike and Steph. That is the only way I could try to get them out. I don't want either of them at the end, but keeping them would just boost my position in the game I think. I think my dream final 3 is me, Julie, and Whitney. They are my best chance to win against. I know I've said that I'm resigned to losing at this point, but Julie and Whitney were both looked at as floaters for a long time, so I might still have a chance?

I'm certainly not going to let this new confidence in myself keep me from making big moves now. You know, it's funny how having more confidence in my game made me more insecure about my game, but having less confidence about my game gives me more courage to do whatever. I'm fucking weird.

This idol is what throws my "plan" off. If one of Julie, Whitney, Sophie, or Ashley finds it, my plan is toast and I lessen my chances of getting to the end. The best scenario is for myself to find it because then I know that no one else has it. We'll see what happens tonight, hopefully no one finds it within an hour since I won't be here until 8c.

This is why we pushed you so hard to explore different things. We find that new players feel like they don't want to "waste" their chances by making a bad move and end up settling for a lower place or a goat position instead of just not worrying as much and just going for what feels right. That's something that comes with experience, but luckily for you, you get to learn that in your first game

Okay, so I think my plan is working, as of right now. It's going to be me, Ashley, and Sophie voting for Mike, and Julie and Whitney are voting for Steph. If I flip and vote with Steph and Mike, the vote will be split 3-2-2, and hopefully Ashley or Sophie will be going home. I think every single vote, Sophie's name has been thrown around, so if she doesn't go home now, I'm just gonna stop trying. She is seriously the best player in the game right now, that is why I kind of want her gone. My dream final 3 still hasn't changed, and Sophie is the biggest threat to that dream I have, which is why I've been trying to get her out for soooooo long.

I am concerned tonight for the first time. In Survivor: Redemption Island, Matt came back into the game at the merge. Boston Rob got rid of Matt, and by doing so, eliminated any chance of anyone flipping the game to the Zapatera side. I imagine Sophie could be Boston Rob and I could be Matt. There is nothing stopping her from voting for me, so I want to try and win immunity today. If Mike or Steph win immunity, then my plan goes up in ashes, maybe.